Summer crown

Back and rested from crown.
It was a very good event. I will admit that I had my doubts on having the tournaments on the Sunday, but it turned out amazing. Saturday was very relaxed and laid back. It gave me the opportunity to hang out with people and get to know them a little better.

I weaved a bit. Weaving in period surroundings really brings a little something. I was surprised by the amount of people that came to me and said that they were amazed by what I did, how it looked like magic and that it was so complex. I love explaining the mechanics behind the "magic". It's really really simple. And I thrive when I see them understanding. Everything makes sense when you take one detail at the time. It's a lot like fighting, it's all in the small details and understanding mechanics.

There was something in the air Saturday evening, when evocation of the list took place. The sky turned grey and the wind picked up. The atmosphere was strange. The wind was strong but it felt like the air stood still, similar to when a storm is rising on the ocean. For a brief moment on Saturday evening, it felt like I was back on the shoreline, I was energized the same way I used to get when I made offerings to Njörðr before my husband and/or my brother were getting ready to sail. This gave me the courage to offer myself as a banner bearer to my Knight and his inspiration. The wind calmed down after the invocation procession.

 I made new friends and managed to chip off a bit of my shyness barrier with other friends. The SCA is such a great place for shy and insecure people to grow in a safe environment. It's surprising how I manage to break out of my shell and overcome my insecurity when I'm at an event. I do feel stronger emotionally when I'm around SCA people. I also have more and more people that I feel safe when I'm around them, I feel like I don't have to constantly be on guard or watch my back. It's a relief to feel some of that stress go away. I feel lighter.

Sunday was epic. I did not fight in crown out of respect for my inspiration and a promise I made to him but I volunteered to marshal and I fought pick ups between rounds. I've noticed that I'm way more attentive to details and my surroundings after fighting, marshalling with fighter-brain was a pretty cool experience, I noticed details that usually slips away.
After crown, I fought in the squires tourney. It was interesting, I had no "meh" fights. They were either very very bad or very very good, I've learn from both. I've had good feedback and very useful tips from a lot of people. My fighting is improving. Maybe not at the speed that I want, but from what I've learn in the past year it's better for me to learn at the pace my brain and body let's me and really let that become second nature and grow into a good fighter than to rush it and be an ok fighter. Every fights starts in my head. If my head is not at the right place, it's a wasted fight. I proved to myself this weekend that if my mind is cleared and my head is at the right place, I can hold my ground and fight. I've had fights where I was in the perfect head space and some that I wasn't. Now I need to remember how to switch that on. Sunday it kinda came and went but I didn't notice a pattern.

Most importantly, this weekend I learned that I'm not where I want to be; I'm where I need to be and I embrace this. This journey is getting more interesting each time I pick up my sword.

Training Continues

Just came back home from a good event.
I need to concentrate on fighting more. I don't practice as much as I did the past years and it shows. My progress is slow. But there's still some progress, so that's good. I won't give up. I may not have 4+ hours per week in helm anymore but my will to improve is the same. Let's just say that things are more challenging and I'll end up being better because of it. I still had fun fighting, it's always great to fight.

I also had the opportunity to shoot and even participate in my first archery tournament. My goal was to see if I could reach the targets. That was a success, even managed to hit it a few times. My score was poor, but I went out and I shot, that's a good first step considering it's been over a year. The archery community here is very different from Tir Righ. The dynamic is different. I've learned a great deal about making arrows and I'll try to make some this summer. I wanna try to spin silk to attach the fletching and make my own hide glue. Eventually I would like to get carded as a marshal so we can start shooting up here.

But first... learn to fight better. i know i can be much better and I will be much better. I don't see this time in the eric as a failure, I see it as a motivation to exceed the limits that my mind is trying to impose on me.
I'm not dead yet.


þrír nornar ek biðja
at líf skulur du spinna
þrír nornar ek biðja 
at líf skulur du garna 
þrír nornar ek biðja 
at líf skulur du binda 
...bindar við rótana... 

Æsir, nornar, 
víssa vanir 
thursamærar 
þrá valkyrjar 
álfar dvergar 
guðar vǫlva 
efsta véurr 
Yggdrasil

The Oseberg Loom

For Jól, Aldric made me a loom based on the one found in the Oseberg burial ship. It's a small version, a prototype for the one he will make with the proper measurements.

I warped it today.
I have no idea if this is how they warped it in the 9th century, but this is how I did it. I still have lots of research to do to find more about how to use it properly. I decided to warp a band that was found in the same burial mound. It's not the band that was on the loom when they found it, but it's possible that this band was woven on a similar loom. Also, my tablets are inspired on tablets found in the same era. I've got chills.
Weaving a period piece on a period loom with period cards..
*kermit arm flail*

 

Warping on my warping board to make things simple

All 10 tablets ready to go

Not sure if this is right but... it looks ok

*kermit arm flail*

The Oseberg loom

All the fighting I could do

This weekend was made of awesome.
Practice on Saturday and practice on Sunday. I'm convinced that I gave all I had in me on Saturday and I kept just enough juice to make it home today.
I've changed most of my kit lately so I'm getting used to all of that. It's crazy how one little difference changes everything. A lot of little differences changed a load of stuff. The cardio training is paying off, I have a bit more stamina. I don't have as much as I would like but it's going up. I'll keep killing it at the gym. I'm maintaining a 1000+ calorie diet. I want to reach 1200 minimum a day. I'm still pretty  proud that I made it to 1000 and kept it there.
Im back at doing stupid mistakes when I fight, I will fix this. Adding everything up isn't as easy as it's seems. If I'm taking care to do one thing, everything else goes out the window.
Still have the breathing issue. Or should I say the not breathing issues.
I need to stop fighting myself. I need to stop expecting success at first try. Fighting is awesome to teach me how the real world works. Nobody will hurt me if I make mistakes or if I don't exceed expectations. My brain still needs to register that. I love how fighting is a gentle teacher when it comes to stuff like this. I'm my worst enemy. I won't let myself fuck me up.
I'm sore, the good kind of sore. The "I gave it all" kinda sore and I will most likely sleep like a champion tonight.
Tomorrow I need to do some armour repairs. I'll also add some things to my drilling routine.

Things will only get better from now on. The first year of my journey taught me that I could stand up. The second year taught me that I was worth something. The third year is teaching me that Attitude is everything and that I might just be stronger than I thought.

I ❤️ You, Epsom salt.

The shieldmaiden picked up a spear

Vápnum sínum skal-a maðr velli á feti ganga framar.

I'm exhausted, and that's awesome.
When I first starting fighting, I wanted to fight with great weapons. Yes, I like sword fighting and yes I have a shield obsession but, there's just something empowering about great weapons. The finesse and agility of a well seasoned great weapon fighter is pure art. Aggressive and blood thirsty art.

I haven't had much success at training with great weapons until recently, I did play around a bit in the past but nothing too in depth. Today, I fought with my spear and it was epic (from my point of view, at least). I realise that this is just the beginning and that I'm very clumsy and still learning how to hold my weapon, but it felt good. I know that this journey is going to be a very long and very hard one and that's what draws me to it. Easy is not fun. It's not as rewarding. I like how aggressive and how personal great weapon fighting can be. I like how demanding it is. This path will also teach me patience and pacing. It will force me to have a healthier lifestyle. I've already started to go to the gym in order to up my cardio and build strength. I'm changing my diet, adapting to what my body needs.
I've been seeing a chiropractor 2-3 times a month and been getting active release. That alone is a pretty amazing feat. I feel strong and I'm ready to get stronger. It's funny how one hobby can become a lifestyle and how a lifestyle can force you to own your life back and kick your fears in the junk.

Double Awesomeness

A lot has happened in the last few weeks. I feel that I've grown (at least inside... still very much vertically challenged).

 I saw a doctor for my various injuries. Got some things put back into place. It was challenging but I'm happy that I had no panic attack and was quite comfortable with him. This is a huge milestone for me. To have a doctor physical handle me and control my body never went well in the past. Never. Either me or him/her ended up hurt and I usually end up restrained in some way or another. So that was a big step towards vanquishing my demons. It's all for fighting, I need to keep telling myself that I'm letting the doctor touch me to help me heal so I can learn how to fight.
Everything. Is. About. Fighting.

I went to the practice down in Borealis, it was epic. Got two moments where all came together. Two separate instances where my brain decided to understand. One is awesome, two is freaken apogee. I haven't had one of those moments in months. It's awesome to still be able to learn and understand even without fighting. Although, I still wish I could've fought but.. being mature about this and not even sorry!

 In the last few years, I had a good amount of people ask me why I fight. Why I keep going back. Today was a perfect example of why. Some things were taught, some words were exchanged, some lessons were given and aside from the actual fighting bits, I will use everything I've learned today in my everyday life. This is why I fight. For the very selfish reason that it gives me strength to go through everyday things.
 Fun is also a big part of it, I admit.

Lessons Learned

Got home from Borealis a few hours ago. I haven't been this sore in a loooong while. But this is the good kind of sore. There's a bit of injury sore but a lot of good fighting sore. It's been a while since I fought this much. I stopped when my body told me to armour down, but my head still wanted to fight. I listened to my body (for once). I've learn so much. Not only fighting techniques but also a couple of good pep talks that helped me get my mind in the right place.

The first lesson I need to work on is patience. I need to give myself time to learn. Time to understand. Time to heal. I need to stop comparing myself to people who learned how to fight when I was learning how to walk. I can't learn something today and expect to master it yesterday. Once I manage to get that through my skull, things will get better.

I need to work on movement. That's a work in progress, been working on it for a year. But something clicked this weekend. It's clearer. Much clearer. When this becomes a habit, power generation will be easier.

Power generation. Closely related to movement. I've been told that some of the shots I thought were light were actually pretty decent. The opponent's armour will greatly affect how I feel how the shot landed. I feel a bit stupid that it took me that long to learn this but.. Now I know. But still, most of my shots are light and I've taken notes on a couple of drills that will help me generate power.

Gaging. I was always strongly suggested, as a newish fighter, to take every shot and let my opponent decide if it's good or not. That's stopping today. I will gage myself instead of letting others gage me. I know that I will not become thick, and if I do end up on that path, I know that I will have "the talk". 

Overall, I'm proud of how I fought this weekend. A lot of mistakes but with most mistakes came feedback and lessons that will help me get better. I'm more and more confident that I can do this. I will achieve my goals. I used to think it was an arrogant thing to say, but now I think it's a good thing. Having goals and believe in them shouldn't be a bad thing. I will break my walls.