My axe, my sword and my shield, they comfort me

The Lord is not my shepherd, for I am not a sheep.
I have no need of green pastures,
I raid along quiet waters,
Battle refreshes my soul.
Fate guides me along the right paths.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for Valhöll awaits
My axe, my sword and my shield, they comfort me.

I prepare a feast in the presence of my enemies.
My horn overflows.
Surely my luck and prowess will abide with me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the hall of Óðinn until Ragnarök.

Awesome day just kept on being awesome

Daffodil tournament!!!

Well, first off, I finished my rapier garb in time for the tourney!

I made it to the tourney!!! My car did a lot of choking and it was toping 80km/h with the pedal to the floor... But I made it!

Murdoch couldn't make it, but he gave me the honour to guard in court with his Lochaber axe. Oooooooooh sweet sweet Lochaber axe. Gun robh mìle math agad, morair Murdoch.

I fought rapier! Was ready, but felt scared for no particular reasons and felt like running away but fighter brain kicked in and I relaxed and I planned on owning the eric. So that didn't really go according to plan, but it wasn't a failure. I wasn't one shoted and I had a kill! I've learn stuff and I had loads of fun! My brother, who was just made cadet won the tournament!

Great days turns awesome.

My knight called me in the center of the eric before the heavy tourney. He took my man at arms belt away. He squired me. I wasn't expecting it, since my one year trial ends in June. I was overflowed by all sorts of positive emotions. But I managed not to cry. I get super emotional when things like this happens. To top it off, our Baron chose me to stand with the Knights to even out the fights. I fought with all I had. I gave all the energy I had left. I didn't win the tourney, but I won so much knowledge.... And a pretty bruise.

I've met new people. I've had a chance to chat with people I never had a chance to chat with and num num num, more yummy knowledge!! I have a few things I wanna try at practice.

My car made it back home!!! Woohoo!

Demo and mundane life

It's been a while since I've wrote anything here. My mundane life is keeping my mind busy.

We had a demo last weekend, it went great! There was heavy fighting, rapier and dance! Pretty much everyone in the team was done on Monday. But we had good results.

Don Mathieu Chaudeau de Montblanc dusted his heavy kit!
It was awesome to fight him!

Teaching how to use a sword.

On the Saturday, I decided to wear my
Song Dynasty garb! The Berserker is not
sure about it.

Goofing around with Her Excellency Baroness Laetitia Talbot.

Fighting with Krzysztof Sirtaski. I died... a lot.

And we danced!

Mundane...
When I'm not in armor or in garb, I'm a military housewife and the mother of a 6 year old (The Berserker). To make a very long and complicated story short, we've received news on Wednesday that my husband will be leaving in 4 weeks for a destination unknown for 14 months with a possibility of 30 months. The issue is that the family is not allowed to follow him and he could be sent anywhere in the country, that's pretty scary when you take in consideration that the country is about 3 800 000 sq mi. 4 weeks is not a lot of time to plan for more than a year of being a single married parent.
We are hoping that they will decide on a place that is very near us. We're really hoping that they will realize that there's a spot right here for his trade (there is... there's at least 5 openings right here).

Him leaving will have a huge impact on a lot of things. The Berserker is doing very well in school, she might be affected by this and her grades might go down. It's a good thing that we're homeschooling, we can take breaks and go at our own pace, but we still need to make it to the end of the school year.

It will also have a huge impact on my fighting. I won't be able to go to as many events as I did last year and if I do go to events, I might not be able to fight.
I am not planning on stepping down as Master of Stables. I can still run practices, I just might not be able to participate. The good thing is that The Berserker will be able to work on her fighting, she will have all the opportunities to fight.

I'm a very nervous person and I'm at war with myself on several issues. I've been dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder and fighting is really helping me with that. I have not been reacting good since Wednesday. I'm scared of relapsing. I'm scared of regressing. I don't like this lost of control. I knew that by marrying in the military we would get separated, but this is a fine print scenarios. They are not supposed to separate dependents for more than 12 months and we're looking at 14 with a possibility of 30. I have a hard time keeping food down and I've blacked out a few times. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff where all I can see is darkness below and above with the wind is blowing on my back. Another thing that is scaring me is that I thought that I was stronger than this. I'm not as far as I thought I was in my healing...

A lot can happen in 4 weeks.... A lot can happen in 14 months...

*Edit: Added some pics of the demo