Multitasking at Investiture.

Today I've witness two amazing people step up to the thrones of Tir Righ and two awesome people step down. The four of them are all great inspirations and I look up to them on so many angles.

I did it! I've acheived one of my goals! I starting fighting rapier, got authorised (on the 11th of February) and today I fought in my first rapier tournament! I think I did pretty good, for a very newbie. I've surpassed my goal of not being one shotted and as a bonus, I had a kill! It was a double kill, but it still a kill and I'm ceazy proud of that. Now, let's work on getting better and eventually get recognised.

I switched armours right after and did heavy. The scary thing is that my mind wasn't there. I felt scared and that's not normal.  There's nothing scary about heavy. My warm-up was buttery and I felt like a total looser that didn't deserve the privilege of holding a sword. I felt like a total failure. So I retreated and took a few moments to slow things down in my brain. I put my helm on and kept repeating to myself that I was doing this for me and me alone. I wanted to forget that I knew anyone on the field. I wanted to forget that people could judge, if I sucked, I sucked and if I didn't well good. The fear left. I stopped being  buttery and I fought well. I fought for myself and I felt like I only had myself to impress. I fought fairly well. I'm ok with what I did on the field and I feel no shame.

So it was a good day. I still want to know what triggered the fear, because that's not normal... there's nothing scary with heavy fighting. So I need to keep an eye on that. I own fear, I do not let fear own me. This will not happen again.

Now I'm done. Like done done. I soak in the tub and will hit the bed real soon.

Awesome practice was awesome

Back in armour after being sick!! I'm still a bit sick but not much.
I was surprised.  I'm usually sluggish when I miss practice but I was not too bad today. 

My shots are finally coming in nicely.  Still on the buttery side when I get tired, but there's some power.
Now I'm working on my range game. I need to work on angles and use my shield a bit more aggressively. The mind game is coming into play in this one. I'm not bad at catching shots with my shield, I now need to learn to use it to manipulate. What makes me a bit nervous is that I really really don't want to accidentally whack someone with my shield. So, practice practice practice. Once I gain confidence in that, I think it's gonna change the flavour of my game a lot.  It's gonna get a lot more aggressive (in a good way).

Some of my fears are gone. I'm not scared of being hit, that part wasn't hard, this is vanilla compared to real life.  Not scared of injuries,  they heal. Not scared of bruises, been there done that.  Not scared of breaking skin, blood coagulates after a while. Not scared of standing my ground and fight. My fears are when it comes to others. I don't want to make a mistake and injure someone. I'm still scared of disappointing people. So my mind game still needs to improve.

But, none the less, I feel that I'm getting somewhere.