Being sick, the smart way.

It happens and it sucks.
There's two ways a fighter can deal with being sick. There's the dumb way and there's the smart way!

The dumb way: Act like you're fine. Try to fight like nothing is wrong.
Pros: You get to fight.
Cons: You don't get better at anything because you're too sick to register. You can aggravate your sickness. Depending on what you have, you can share and that sucks. You don't fight at your best. You have a greater possibility of being a danger to yourself and others.

The smart way: Take care of yourself and refrain from fighting. Do light pell work if you can. Work on your kit.
Pros: You get to learn by watching others fight. You will heal faster. You get to marshal.You are not in more pain then you need to be.
Cons: You don't get to fight.

I chose the dumb way a few times, when I'm not contagious. It was... well.... dumb.
I'm sick right now. Nothing extreme, just a severe infection of the external acoustic meatus, I'm not contagious unless I share earphones or something. We have a practice tomorrow. If I feel exactly like I do now, I won't put my armour on and I'll do some pell work, rapier drills and shoot a couple of arrows. I'm dizzy and I feel like Cthulhu laid an egg in my head. The end of the months is gonna be fairly busy and I want to be in top shape.

It's easy being dumb, but I think that I'll try being smart this time and see how it goes.

Thanks to my brothers-in-arms to push me and encourage me to take better care of myself.


*** Yes... part of the reason I write this is to convince myself to be smart.

This Game We Play

Home sweet home

Back in Seagirt!

I've learn many things this weekend.

- More people then I thought reads this blog and find it inspiring. (So I will keep posting and sharing)

- My defence is getting better! 20+ fights, 3 bruises!

- I've stopped fighting my sword and I've stopped going all arms. I have zero muscular pain in my arms. But my shoulder, lower back and core muscles are moosh.

- I think other fighters stopped giving me chances and are really fighting me at their best level (and I am crazy happy to finally have that honour).

- I need better socks.

- I have learn that when someone wants to talk to me, it doesn't always mean I'm in trouble and pain rarely follow the conversation.

- I've learned how to inspect a combat arrow

- I've also learned that being hit in the throat by a failing combat arrow stings like a bitch.

- SCA guys have a thing for kissing hands.. Was shocked at first but I think I like that!

- I should never change my hair colour, it's how people recognise me. From people I fought a year ago to random lady on the ferry who recognised me from a demo.

- I've seen a lot of rapier techniques that I wanna try.

- I have learn that my sleeve attracts a lot of attention, especially from people of the faith.

- Heavy fighters snore a great deal.

- Americans really really love football. Almost as much as we love hockey!

The greatest thing that I've learn (I kinda already knew that) is that I have amazing friends, brothers and sisters in arms all over the kingdom (and beyond)

It amazes me every events. The quality of people that are in this society is phenomenal. People I've met 2-3 times talk to me like we're old time buddies. People I've never met interact with the outmost respect. The SCA really is like a huge family. Hard to believe that I fit in. I was always the outcast, the ugly duckling, the nerd, the geek, the short piece of garbage and now, I'm part of a this awesome family who takes me as I am.

Oh, and Seagirt has one more Senior YAC marshal.

Great day fighting!

Pain, all of the pain!!! But good pain.

Fought well and hard.was one shoted once in 20 something fights... By the King of The West. Got some kills.

I remembered how to fight!!

Now bed.

@ Ursulmas

So here I am!

Less nervous then last year, but still a bit intimidated by some guys I've seen. Huge, tall guys. I feel tiny tiny. I feel shy. I feel very newbie. But at least this time I know what I'm doing. I know what to expect too. 

I'm not scared, not this time. But I do feel a bit out of place. I don't feel like I belong. I'm confident that all will go well tomorrow.

I Got My Fight Back

I'm pretty sure I got my groove back.
I have a hard time delivering power. I tried all the hip tricks and the flick tricks and the squeeze the fingers at the last moment tricks.
Turns out my problem was my feet!!! I was too planted. Even if I didn't have my heels grounded and that I was mobile, I was planted.

About 2-3 practices ago Percival noticed that my feet were static when I was hitting the pole. He gave me some tips and told me to kinda pivot a bit on the balls of my feet while doing my shot. I tried it and it was meh. But I was having a very meh day.

Tried it today!!!! HOLD DA KÆFT did it ever make a different!!! Power was there! Now I need to work on my range perception a bit. With the new helm I tend to get a bit to close. I see differently with that helm, it's a matter of getting used to it. It's getting better and better.

Tomorrow, we go to the Sire of Hartwood for a practice. I plan on keeping it slow. I want to learn stuff, but I want to get my mind game ready for the weekend and I don't want to over do it. I really want to break my limits this weekend. I want to push myself.

Attempt at making a tutorial - Ram horns

I've learned how to card weave last Friday. There's a pattern that I've been wanting to try for a while, it's sorta the reason why I wanted to learn how to do card weaving. When we were working on my handfasting garb, Glynis made the most beautiful straps for my apron. They were ram horns. So I decided that eventually I'll learn how to make some myself and put ram horns on everything. So Saturday, being out of commission due to a car accident on Friday, I decided to play around. I studied a book that Glynis gave me, looked at the straps on my apron and did some research here and there. I took what I registered in, played around for a bit and ended up with ram horns!

Here's how I made them.

I have a thing for red and black...

So I started by tying little fluffs of wool in the A hole (... yeah...). Notice that there's 2 different colours. the ones that are yellow will be the one that I flip. That would be card # 3-4-5 and 8-9-10.

So I turn all the cards towards me 4 times, until I'm back with all the fluffs on top. Now flip the card with the yellow fluffs

This probably works best
with wooden cards.

You'll end up with fluffy A holes all over the place. Like this:

Again, 4 turns towards you and switch the cards again. Do that a couple hundred times and you'll end up with a ram horn trim!

Level up!!

Card weaving!!!

Darraðarljóð

(Describing The Battle of Cluain Tarbh, 1014 and the fall of High King Brian Bóruma MacCennétig)

Blood rains from the cloudy web
On the broad loom of slaughter.
The web of man grey as armor
Is now being woven; the Valkyries
Will cross it with a crimson weft.

The warp is made of human entrails;
Human heads are used as heddle-weights;
The heddle rods are blood-wet spears;
The shafts are iron-bound and arrows are the shuttles.
With swords we will weave this web of battle.

The Valkyries go weaving with drawn swords,
Hild and Hjorthrimul, Sanngrid and Svipul.
Spears will shatter shields will splinter,
Swords will gnaw like wolves through armor.

Let us now wind the web of war
Which the young King once waged.
Let us advance and wade through the ranks,
Where friends of ours are exchanging blows.

Let us now wind the web of war
And then follow the king to battle
Gunn and Gondul can see there
The blood-spattered shields that guarded the King.

Let us now wind the web of war
Where the warrior banners are forging forward
Let his life not be taken;
Only the Valkyries can choose the slain.

Lands will be ruled by new peoples
Who once inhabited outlying headlands.
We pronounce a great king    destined to die;
Now an earl is felled by spears.

The men of Ireland will suffer a grief
That will never grow old in the minds of men.
The web is now woven and the battlefield reddened;
The news of disaster will spread through lands.

It is horrible now to look around
As a blood-red cloud darkens the sky.
The heavens are stained with the blood of men,
As the Valyries sing their song.

We sang well victory songs
For the young King; hail to our singing!
Let him who listens to our Valkyrie song
Learn it well and tell it to others.

Let us ride our horses hard on bare backs,
With swords unsheathed away from here!

And then they tore the woven cloth from the loom and ripped it to pieces, each keeping the shred she held in her hands... The women mounted their horses and rode away, six to the south and six to the north.

The Little Lai of Hlif

This lai was written by my inspiration and friend Lady Athelina Grey as part of her bardic competition (she won). It's about the Baroness's walk at Sealion War last May. I wrote about it earlier.


The Little Lai of Hlif 
By Lady Athelina Grey 

We all know a badger's a terrible beast
on the hearts of its victims it readily feasts
but tempered by HONEY, a badger grows wise:
compassion and caring will shine from its eyes.

A tale of a badger of honey I'll tell
And her quest to save cookies from villians so fell.

One day she was camping at Sealion War
to protect good Letitia she humbly swore
so when word was given of thieves in the woods
Hlif shouldered her sword to guard precious goods.
The cookie-guards ten faced thieves only two
but paths through the forest are tough to get through
when blocked with a cart and defended by sword
with brigandly wiles, they needed no horde
for one of the bridgands held in her hand
a crossbow (one recently Papally banned)*
The cookie guards halted to look at the path.
The badger felt rising her warrior's wrath.
Her companions were shot one by one in the head
and soon all but badger lay on the field dead.
The badger considered a valiant charge
but all by herself, her chances weren't large.

The wise honey badger dove under the cart
clutching the cookies right close to her heart
for rather she'd die than let any mean thief
steal Baroness' cookies away from the Hlif.

The brigands stopped shooting, the way it seemed clear
to run to the stronghold with cookies so dear.
The badger of honey crawled out from the cart
expecting the sting of a fierce crossbow dart:
but stronger than arrows or darts is the stuff
that badgers are made of: they're just too darned tough.

Two steps and then three Hlif badger did try
then found herself knocked through off her feet soon to fly
through the air like a bird in the storm's fearsom grip:
the badger'd been hit with a sword on the hip.

She fell to the ground, cookies clutched to her chest.
Lights flickered, then darkened: she went to her rest.

The Baron surveyed the most grisly scene
all bloody dismemberment, innards and spleens
but clutched to Hlif's breast, kept safe till the end
were the cookies still safe and ready to send.

The badger of honey was later awoken
and of the fine cookies, not one had been broken.

This story of love for her Baroness fair
and the guarding of cookies with great loving care
the Badger of Honey against villains two
this short Lai of Hlif, I swear it is true.

*In 1139, at the Second Lateran Council, Pope Innocent II issued a Papal bull banning the use of crossbows.

Stick day

So fight practice tonight!
My strategy for tonight is simple. Concentrate on laying shots good, clean, crisp and precise. Concentrate on power generation. Focus on body movements and not worry to much about speed for now. Tonight I dissect my shots and I correct what ever is not working. One drill that really helped me a few months back is the one where one fighter makes a shot and stops, the other one blocks and lays a shot and stops, the first fighter blocks and lays a shot and so on. It forces me to slow my mind a bit and see openings and it also teaches me what my body can do or not. And eventually, the mind stops and you start blocking and laying shots without thinking about it. I haven't done that drill in a long long while. I have a hard time doing slow warm ups, my head sees openings and I speed up and it fucks up the drill. That drill really forces me to calm down and focus.
So we'll see how that goes.


I've pre-registered for Ursulmas. I've been looking forward to this tourney since I left the site. Ursulmas last year was a huge eye opener for me. It's the first time I've fought with other people than those that I practice with at home. I had the snot beated out of me and my ass handed to me every single time I stepped in the eric. But each time I got out, my opponents taught me something, they told me what I did wrong, what I should have done and what I did right.
I've met other female fighters too and we spoke a lot on what was different about the way we think and the way we fight compared to men. What really really surprised me is that I got along just fine with them and some of them I still have contact with and we meet in the erics from time to time. I usually don't get along with other girls. I never understood why, it's almost animalistic, I simply just don't get along with other women, especially not women that just beat the shit out of me. Well Ursulmas changed that. I had the same connection with them than I had with the male fighters and my relationship with women changed since then. Don't get me wrong, there's still some females that I can't stand, but I don't think that it's because they are females, it's because they are bitches.

Last year, I only knew a handful of people there, those from the barony who went. I pretty much kept to myself. I was very shy. A lot of people tried to talked to me but I was hesitant and afraid to be judged. When I went back to the hall I curled up on my sleeping bag and read or slept, avoiding people.
This year I want to meet people, I want to share, I want to talk, I want to hangout.



Let's see how this practice goes!

Today, I forgot how to fight...

Fight practice today.
I was sooooo excited and sooooo primed up! I felt great,  I was focused and preped up!
Aaaaaaaand I sucked. Big time.
My mind was there,  my head saw all the openings, knew where to go, where to hit, what to block. But my body just decided that today was not a good day. No clue why. I wasn't in pain, for once!!! It felt like my first day in armour.

When I felt that my excitement and joy was being replaced by frustration and anger,  I popped my helm off and reflected on myself. I was so mad at myself for sucking. Then it hit me that this wasn't the first time it happened. And the other time it did, I just fought and focused and practiced and eventually it unlocked something and I was on a roll again. I know that this time isn't any different. But the more it goes, the harder it is to unlocked what ever is blocking. It as to be normal, right? After my few minutes meditating on the problem I went back for a few fights and even if I wasn't any better, my joy and excitement was back. Next practice will be better.

What bothers me the most about this is disappointing people. I'm used to disappoint myself. Disappointing others as a bigger impact. What if my mentors think I'm not trying hard enough? What if they think I don't care? What if I let down the people that look up to me for inspiration?  What if the people that inspires me think I'm not worth it? And worst of all, what if my Knight thinks I'm useless and am not worth is time and effort anymore?

Ursulmas is the weekend after the next. I NEED to unblock. My last tourney wasn't all that good, I dont want this to become a habit..... and I wont let this become a habit. I dont want to disappoint anyone.

One thing for sure, this was the last time I take 5 practices off. I don't care if it's Jul or Ostara or Walpurgis or any other sacred holiday.... no more breaks.

Wednesday practice; I will own my fights.

Strength

Still very much haunted by this song.


Strangely enough, Heyr himna smiður was written by a devout christian and the lyrics easily prove that. But it took over 700 years for someone to write the melody and it's the melody that touches me. I haven't heard much music by Þorkell Sigurbjörnsson, but if his musical arrangements are all similar to this one, I'm a fan.

 I'm a sucker for minor keys to start with.

The most powerful feeling this songs brings out in me is Strength. But not the physical type of strength. The Strength that comes from inside. The one that makes you stand firm but not unbending. The one that makes you hold a broken friend without breaking yourself. The one that makes you lift someone without sinking. The one that makes you submit without loosing will. The kind of Strength that heals others, not the one that hurts even if it could if you would let it.

The feeling is very similar to what it feels like to lay in the grass at night, far from a city and look at the sky and the stars, feeling the wind on my skin and realize how tiny, yet significantly strong we can be if we find the courage to stand.

It's a strange feeling to describe, really, and I'm probably not making any sense.

I made a doll!

I've been wanting to try my hand at making dolls for a little while now but I A) didn't have the time and B) Didn't have any inspiration.
The Berserker is in her Disney Princess phase and she asked me if Cinderella could be a viking princess! And that gave me an idea. I would make a viking Cinderella doll!
I only have the clothes left to do. I'll make her a little tunic and a hangerock using the colour palette that the Disney version wears.
I'm planning on making the other Disney Princesses.

The Way To Hel

I love to sing this song. It's a powerful one. I usually sing it when I'm alone or when the household is sleeping. I'm very shy of singing if front of people.
The poem at the end of the song is from the Poetic Edda, Hávamál. It quotes the Gestaþáttr, Stanzas 77.

"Deyr fé, 

deyja frændr, 

deyr sjálfr et sama; 

ek veit einn, 

at aldri deyr: 

dómr um dauðan hvern."

It roughly translates to:

"Livestock dies,

People die

You will die;

I know of one thing

That never dies:

The judgment of a dead man's life." 

This Stanzas will most likely be part of my next tattoo.

Who shall sing me
into the death-sleep sling me
When I walk on the Path of Death
and the tracks I tread are cold, so cold

I sought the songs
I sent the songs
when the deepest well
gave me the drops so touched
of Death-fathers wager

I know it all, Odin
where you hid your eye

Who shall sing me
into the death-sleep sling me
When I walk on the Path of Death
and the tracks I tread are cold, so cold

early in the days end
still the raven knows if I fall

When you stand by the Gate of Death
And you have to tear free
I shall follow you
across the Resounding Bridge with my song

You will be free from the bonds that bind you!
You are free from the bonds that bound that you!

Commission is done!!

TADAM!!!!!!

The Berserker in Armour

HUZZAH!!!!! Practice started again!!
Brought The Berserker!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Fighting practice starts tomorrow! Feels like it's been forever! It's going to be nice to see my brother again.
I really need to work hard if I want to be ready for Ursulmas in 3 weeks. My spot in the Sleeping Hall is reserved and I probably have a road trip buddy! Ursulmas last year was my very first tournament of my fighting career, this is a milestone. I've met so many people there, I hope to meet even more and to see old friends! 

I've been working on my commission a lot.  Started weaving trim 4 of 8 this afternoon.