The Little Lai of Hlif

This lai was written by my inspiration and friend Lady Athelina Grey as part of her bardic competition (she won). It's about the Baroness's walk at Sealion War last May. I wrote about it earlier.


The Little Lai of Hlif 
By Lady Athelina Grey 

We all know a badger's a terrible beast
on the hearts of its victims it readily feasts
but tempered by HONEY, a badger grows wise:
compassion and caring will shine from its eyes.

A tale of a badger of honey I'll tell
And her quest to save cookies from villians so fell.

One day she was camping at Sealion War
to protect good Letitia she humbly swore
so when word was given of thieves in the woods
Hlif shouldered her sword to guard precious goods.
The cookie-guards ten faced thieves only two
but paths through the forest are tough to get through
when blocked with a cart and defended by sword
with brigandly wiles, they needed no horde
for one of the bridgands held in her hand
a crossbow (one recently Papally banned)*
The cookie guards halted to look at the path.
The badger felt rising her warrior's wrath.
Her companions were shot one by one in the head
and soon all but badger lay on the field dead.
The badger considered a valiant charge
but all by herself, her chances weren't large.

The wise honey badger dove under the cart
clutching the cookies right close to her heart
for rather she'd die than let any mean thief
steal Baroness' cookies away from the Hlif.

The brigands stopped shooting, the way it seemed clear
to run to the stronghold with cookies so dear.
The badger of honey crawled out from the cart
expecting the sting of a fierce crossbow dart:
but stronger than arrows or darts is the stuff
that badgers are made of: they're just too darned tough.

Two steps and then three Hlif badger did try
then found herself knocked through off her feet soon to fly
through the air like a bird in the storm's fearsom grip:
the badger'd been hit with a sword on the hip.

She fell to the ground, cookies clutched to her chest.
Lights flickered, then darkened: she went to her rest.

The Baron surveyed the most grisly scene
all bloody dismemberment, innards and spleens
but clutched to Hlif's breast, kept safe till the end
were the cookies still safe and ready to send.

The badger of honey was later awoken
and of the fine cookies, not one had been broken.

This story of love for her Baroness fair
and the guarding of cookies with great loving care
the Badger of Honey against villains two
this short Lai of Hlif, I swear it is true.

*In 1139, at the Second Lateran Council, Pope Innocent II issued a Papal bull banning the use of crossbows.